Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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