My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
