some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
