Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
