apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
