the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Come see our sink grown plant.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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