there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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