im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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