i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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