U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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