I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize