i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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