So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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