Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
