i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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