Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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