Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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