I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize