Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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