btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
