Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
