You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
