She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she told me i tasted like america
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize