Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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