I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Randomize
