He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize