Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
youre lurking in front of me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
