Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
