i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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