And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
3pm strippers are depressing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize