I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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