Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
