how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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