She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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