i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
