Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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