I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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