I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
