What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
