I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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