I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
