So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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