there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
