it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
