Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The ass gains better be worth it
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