Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
