Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
