I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
