No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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