a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize