Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
