I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
