Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize