I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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