pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
