I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
