he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
