Swine flu. Run for my life!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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