Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
