ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
