well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
