Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
