Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
