I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Non-Jews are for practice
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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