he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
