heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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