I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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