i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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