I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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