i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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