Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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