Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
