My boss' voice literally gives me gas
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
