i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize